I have been
single for around 2 years and am not the most confident when it comes to guys. I’ve
been pretty lucky this far as in I’ve always been introduced to guys through
friends or I’ve we’ve been friends first, so it feels natural. This becomes
harder as you get older, your social circle shrinks and you get to know the
majority of your friend’s mates. I have had a blast being single and don’t feel
I need a boyfriend but do miss having someone there and would like to meet the
right man to have fun with. However I am useless at putting myself out there!
My friends laugh at me and say I wouldn’t have a clue if a guy was chatting me
up, I’m pretty oblivious to this kind of stuff!
It is on my
30 before 30 list to get out there more and start dating again and I recently
had a look at the dating app Tinder. Highly recommend if you fancy an
entertaining evening at home, get a glass of wine and slide one way if you like
the look of the man and the other if you don’t.
If they click they like you too, you get matched and can start
messaging. Apart from being ridiculously vain the problem with Tinder is that
hardly anyone seems to message. This may just be me but if you actually want to
meet people I would necessarily recommend this one!
So on the 1st January my 2 best
friends staged an intervention and signed me up to the dating website, plenty of
fish and wouldn’t let me have the password for the first week. The first
message was from a guy offering to pay £2700 to do rude stuff to my boobs, to
say I didn’t have high hopes for this intervention would be an
understatement!
After a week
of them messaging random guys I eventually got the password. I was pretty
impressed with their work and it definitely showed how well they know me with their
responses. I did delete a few who I didn’t think were my cup of tea and I
carried on chatting to the ones I liked. I was having a great time chatting to
one guy about travelling, and then he suddenly disappeared so I’m assuming he
met someone. Then another guy was I was chatting too asked to befriend me on
facebook so I agreed and we became facebook buddies and then he stopped chatting
to me! I’m assuming he didn’t like the look of me. Who knows?!
I then
started chatting to this mediocre guy, his profile stated how spontaneous he
was but his messages were a little generic and boring. However I tried not to
judge thinking online dating is an awkward thing in general and he might be my
amazing dream man in real life. Therefore I agreed to go on a date with him, so
we arranged to meet last Sunday and he would get in touch nearer the time and
say a time and place. He text me at 6:30pm on the Sunday asking if we could
still meet, err no, I was already in my pj’s and having a hot date with Ben
& Jerry. So that one’s fizzled out.
Then I
started chatting to a nice guy, for the rest of this he shall be known as ‘wakeboarding
guy’. He was entertaining and chatty, he loved being out on the water and liked
snowboarding. He gave me his number so we started texting instead. I really
liked him and when he suggested meeting up in real life I agreed. So last night
we met up in a county pub for dinner, we met at 7pm and relieved and happy to
see that he was ridiculously hot and seemed really nice. We chatted about
various things, I was ridiculously nervous and talked rubbish, and I also giggle
a lot in these situations. He seemed a bit nervous to begin with but then
seemed to relax. There were a few awkward silences, and I don’t think me
blurting out that I’m 29 and moved back in with parents last year is a
particular selling point. So at the end of the evening (9:30pm, not sure if that’s
a bad thing?! The pub was bloody freezing!) In true Gemma style we walked to
the car park to our cars and I just kind of flung myself on him for a hug and then
pretty much ran to my car. Awkward much. He said ‘ill text you’ then paused for
a bit and through in a ‘...soon’, what the hell does that mean?! So as you can probably
guess I quite liked him.
I arrived
home to a barrage of texts from friends asking if I was okay and how it went
and I don’t really know to be honest! I then went through the dilemma of should
I text him and say thanks for dinner and a nice evening. My friends were split
on this one and me not being able to leave things text him. I then got a text
saying ‘No worries, thanks for coming x’. According my dating expert friends
this is known as a cut off and I won’t hear from him again. Gutted.
This dating
world feels cut throat, I feel massively out of my comfort zone, I have woken
up feeling extremely anxious and headed straight to the gym to try and sweat it
out. It feels like a rollercoaster of emotions and this morning I feel pretty
crap.
So I am
currently sat here blasting out Beyonces single ladies and attempting to pull
myself together and get back out there again. Sigh....