Friday, 23 January 2015

My disastrous adventure back into the world of dating...

I have been single for around 2 years and am not the most confident when it comes to guys. I’ve been pretty lucky this far as in I’ve always been introduced to guys through friends or I’ve we’ve been friends first, so it feels natural. This becomes harder as you get older, your social circle shrinks and you get to know the majority of your friend’s mates. I have had a blast being single and don’t feel I need a boyfriend but do miss having someone there and would like to meet the right man to have fun with. However I am useless at putting myself out there! My friends laugh at me and say I wouldn’t have a clue if a guy was chatting me up, I’m pretty oblivious to this kind of stuff!

It is on my 30 before 30 list to get out there more and start dating again and I recently had a look at the dating app Tinder. Highly recommend if you fancy an entertaining evening at home, get a glass of wine and slide one way if you like the look of the man and the other if you don’t.  If they click they like you too, you get matched and can start messaging. Apart from being ridiculously vain the problem with Tinder is that hardly anyone seems to message. This may just be me but if you actually want to meet people I would necessarily recommend this one!

So on the 1st January my 2 best friends staged an intervention and signed me up to the dating website, plenty of fish and wouldn’t let me have the password for the first week. The first message was from a guy offering to pay £2700 to do rude stuff to my boobs, to say I didn’t have high hopes for this intervention would be an understatement! 

After a week of them messaging random guys I eventually got the password. I was pretty impressed with their work and it definitely showed how well they know me with their responses. I did delete a few who I didn’t think were my cup of tea and I carried on chatting to the ones I liked. I was having a great time chatting to one guy about travelling, and then he suddenly disappeared so I’m assuming he met someone. Then another guy was I was chatting too asked to befriend me on facebook so I agreed and we became facebook buddies and then he stopped chatting to me! I’m assuming he didn’t like the look of me. Who knows?!

I then started chatting to this mediocre guy, his profile stated how spontaneous he was but his messages were a little generic and boring. However I tried not to judge thinking online dating is an awkward thing in general and he might be my amazing dream man in real life. Therefore I agreed to go on a date with him, so we arranged to meet last Sunday and he would get in touch nearer the time and say a time and place. He text me at 6:30pm on the Sunday asking if we could still meet, err no, I was already in my pj’s and having a hot date with Ben & Jerry. So that one’s fizzled out.

Then I started chatting to a nice guy, for the rest of this he shall be known as ‘wakeboarding guy’. He was entertaining and chatty, he loved being out on the water and liked snowboarding. He gave me his number so we started texting instead. I really liked him and when he suggested meeting up in real life I agreed. So last night we met up in a county pub for dinner, we met at 7pm and relieved and happy to see that he was ridiculously hot and seemed really nice. We chatted about various things, I was ridiculously nervous and talked rubbish, and I also giggle a lot in these situations. He seemed a bit nervous to begin with but then seemed to relax. There were a few awkward silences, and I don’t think me blurting out that I’m 29 and moved back in with parents last year is a particular selling point. So at the end of the evening (9:30pm, not sure if that’s a bad thing?! The pub was bloody freezing!) In true Gemma style we walked to the car park to our cars and I just kind of flung myself on him for a hug and then pretty much ran to my car. Awkward much. He said ‘ill text you’ then paused for a bit and through in a ‘...soon’, what the hell does that mean?! So as you can probably guess I quite liked him.

I arrived home to a barrage of texts from friends asking if I was okay and how it went and I don’t really know to be honest! I then went through the dilemma of should I text him and say thanks for dinner and a nice evening. My friends were split on this one and me not being able to leave things text him. I then got a text saying ‘No worries, thanks for coming x’. According my dating expert friends this is known as a cut off and I won’t hear from him again. Gutted.

This dating world feels cut throat, I feel massively out of my comfort zone, I have woken up feeling extremely anxious and headed straight to the gym to try and sweat it out. It feels like a rollercoaster of emotions and this morning I feel pretty crap.

So I am currently sat here blasting out Beyonces single ladies and attempting to pull myself together and get back out there again. Sigh....


  1. Omg I know how you feel! I tried pof (id say this site is more casual than relationship)
    I met one guy who id been chatting to for a few weeks, nice, funny. Met up for drinks and I thought it was a good first meet up (lasted 3hrs) then I hear nothing!! Got a txt a few months later saying 'he lost his phone and his gran was ill' :/
    Think I'll stay single! Haha. I'll dance to single ladies with you :p

    Bex x

    1. Hahaha is just such an emotional up and down thing! I cant cope with all the second guessing! Being single is the way forward... star fishing in bed, not having to share ice cream or chocolate, no planning around someone else, no drama.... im cool with all that!! xxx

    2. I agree, even if it's not going anywhere the not knowing drives you crazy! Lol. Yep star fishing, chocolate and quirky habits are the future ;) x

  2. Oh no, that sucks :( It's always the worst when you like them and they don't. I once went on a terrible date but for some reason sent a text afterwards anyway,saying thanks for a nice evening (I think I was a bit drunk and trying to be polite) and he sent me the rebuffal reply. I was mortified that he thought I might actually like him!

    I wrote about my misadventures in internet dating a couple of years ago ( - I tried it on-and-off for ten years (although mostly off, so don't imagine it takes that long!) but when my boyfriend signed up I was the first person he met - so he thinks the whole thing is easy! For him it was join a site, meet the love of your life.... sadly not that easy for most of us.

    1. Haha right now I would love a rebuffal! just so know where I stand! Just all a bit pants as I really liked him but think I came across at the end as not interested. So tempted to send him a text, I am useless at trying to play it cool!

      Aww I love hearing that people do meet the love of their lives on these things, it gives me hope! Im just way out of my comfort zone with whole thing! Would love to just bump into someone in the supermarket and be like your cool , yeah so are you, lets date! If only life was so easy! lol

      Also you on to my to do list at the mo! I shall be emailing you later as I want to sign up for your clothes swap! xx

  3. Dating is so hard my god, now I have been with my bf for 4 years I am right in my comfort zone and don't think I could do it again it's so tough and men can be dicks, I know us women can too and I am not being sexist but the lad culture doesn't help xxx

    Blonde Of Carbs

  4. I honestly do not think I could do online dating! It sounds terrifying!!! The not knowing! So sorry it didn't work out this time.
    My friends went on loads of awful dates through a website and then their now spouse was their last try!!!

    I was lucky with my husband as I meet lots of musicians in different ensembles and music camp is good for that too but I was single from 22-28 so it was a loooong time between the 2 boyfriends I've had! I was just lucky with that situation otherwise who knows!x

  5. Wow this sounds such a minefield, dating has moved on on so much lately I feel so out of touch with it all.
    I loved this post you should definitely document your adventures :)

  6. Oh my God, this literally sums up the experience I'm having with online dating! In particular, Tinder.
    It's either no message after matchcing, rude messages, boring messages, or the ones i do hear back from and have potential, I meet up with don't seem to be interested afterwards or take it serious and are just looking for hookups.
    I mean I'm pretty shy and awkward on first dates (aren't most people?) to the point where one time it took me nearly an hour to say something comprehendible! >_< but getting better at this with time (I think?)
    After 6 months of on/off online dating, Im now taking a break for a while. Too much too-ing and fro-ing from one person to the next - it gets to a point when you lose sight of what it is your actually doing and looking for!

    Great blog by the way. Some great posts :)

    Gem x


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